The Thieves Banquet Story

Part 1 


Once upon a time in an obscure part of the Milky Way galaxy there was a spinning ball of water and rock ruled by the forces of evil. The devil himself, proud of the magnificent achievements of his children decided to call a special banquet for the greatest thieves in all the land. He sent invites to thousands of the greatest murderers, rapists, pimps and general assorted scum and let them know to attend his palace at the dawn of the new moon. Each thief would be given a chance to stake his claim as the greatest messenger of murder upon the planet and the devil himself would decide who should be crowned king. After many days of deliberating all the petty thieves such as street criminals had been found far short of the required level of wickedness and there were just four sets of thieves left in the competition. They were, the Monarchs of the Empire, A Cartel Of Bankers, The heads of religious orders and the ‘third world’ Dictators. Each set of thieves appointed a spokesman to give his case to the devil; we have recorded these events for posterity.




First up was the thief with the worst reputation

The Dictator of the third world nation

He looked the devil in the eye as he spoke in an oh so serious tone



Dear Mr. Devil I am the greatest thief

There has ever been on the earth

Please tell me who else more than me personifies your work?

I came to power in a military coup

I murdered the elected president

He wanted to use the resources of our country for our own peoples benefit

I proved to masters in the west I could kill my own people

Just was well as the best

So I took over the so-called independent country

When the foreigners left

Sent squads of death for those that suggest

In power should be the one they elect

Erected a statue of the great man

That raped our mothers and stole our lands

That’s how little self-respect that I have

Don't fight slavery it makes me glad

Account in Switzerland, Rolls Royce

Murder and rape cos I want new toys

Don't want a portion but a whole fortune

With that kind of profit what’s a little bit of torture?

Even outlawed my indigenous culture and language and history

And taught our people to only worship colonizers and of course





It’s the banquet of the thieves

Come and dine with me

It’s the banquet of the thieves

It’s the banquet of the thieves



The devil was impressed with this wonderful man

He almost ejaculated on his own hands

But the monarch of the empire said


Monarch of Empire:

Excuse me Mr. Devil

I would like to speak if I may?

But who do you think trained this amateur

Dictator to behave this way?

Yeah I am sure before I came along

His country was far from heaven

But look at the carnage I caused all over the earth its gotta be the work of a devil

Countless deaths mass enslavement

Deliberate starvation of whole nations

The dictator tries his best but looking at me he is just an imitation

Who do you think pays his wages?

He would love to be trading places

I’ve been doing this ting on the roads way back, way back, way back

Since the Middle Ages

Everybody knows he's a criminal element

They think I’m democratic and benevolent

And that shows I’m really devilish

Cos people think I’m heaven sent

I could not care about democracy

You all know no one elected me

But the citizens love me despite my crimes

Sucker emcees wana bite my shine

So blinging so out of control you would vomit

Don't even touch dough but my face is still on it




It’s the banquet of the thieves

Come and dine with me

It’s the banquet of the thieves

It’s the banquet of the thieves


Part 2

Religious leader:

I’m a pervert using the cloak of the clergy. I’m a pervert using the cloak, I’m a despicable character. I use my position of authority and spiritual reverence. I’m a despicable character.


Mr. devil allow me to speak

For all the religious leaders that leech

In the world of creeps I’m initiated

I take the peoples faith and I dissipate it

With false promises, hollow oratory

Don’t need a gun it’s daylight robbery

Dear Mr. devil I thought you would like it

I use their faith in god to keep them blinded

Put on a nice voice, read them a book

Some how they think that I'm not a crook

I tell them go will repay them in the next

They give me their life savings so I can buy jets

All the reports about child sex

None of us have ever gone to jail yet

A system of stealing so appealing

Convinces its victims their lives have meaning

Monarchs boast about conquest

But needed my blessings to could get it done

And all of the dictators they use me my books therefore they are just my sons



The devil was sure that this was the winner 

And was just about to put an end to the dinner

But then the man from the banking cartels stepped up said

The Man From The Banking Cartel:

 I think I’m the biggest sinner

All of those three depend on me

All they ever do is defending me

Cos I pad for all of the things that they have of course

And all of the lives that they lead

I paid for guns, bombs and the tanks

That's why you'll see there is always more

I turned sciences basic appliance into a client of weapons of war

I paid for monarchies

Armed robberies

I make monopolies of property

I never shot a gun or killed anyone myself but billions dies cos of me

Who needs a threat?

I make a debt out of thin air

Just sit back collect

And whatever they say every single day, the people need me just to connect

But not one of them knows what I look like

But all of them spend my money to look nice

They all want more not one of them is pure

I hold the keys to every single door

I sell sex and drugs and profit and lies

Earth and skies I even sell life

I even sell freedom for the right price

But no one is smart enough to ask me nice

So give me the medal Mr. devil don't be biased

If you don't give it to me

I’ll just buy it




It’s the banquet of the thieves

Come and dine with me

It’s the banquet of the thieves

It’s the banquet of the thieves



Fire In The Booth Part 3 - Full Lyrics

Whoever's more human must have the right to do the abusing

I imagine that means you then?

Or are you men just as clueless?

Foolish fools, thoughts of a tortured soul

Bought for a quarter of gold

One little sand nigger slaughter it whole 

Why not? They don't have souls

They love their children less than we do so they are less than equal

They abuse women so we kill them cos they are bloody villains

That's right, we are the feminists

For the women of the world, kill terrorists

Liberate them from their burqas 

They feel more free with their children murdered

I know that it sounds absurd but, lemme explain it a little bit further

We're so superior our missiles whistle until they tickle

Little itty bitty grandchildren and make them giggle

But their laughter sounds like screaming.

I told you that they were demons

They pretend to be dead to make us feel sad

Put bullets in their head to make us look bad

But we're never anything other than glad

When those that look funny end up in a body bag

But if a hair is harmed on Sally or Brad or

Even a dog, we cry like mad

A dog is a man's best friend, not a girl

Women are abused all over the world 

And children are raped

Every place, every religion or creed or race

Even fathers with daughters, uncles with nieces, sweep it under the carpet

Rape is a weapon used by power, and we don't wanna look like bastards

So manufacture hero complex, a reaction to nuttin' more complex

Than organised mass rape of the state, don't wanna hear about mass graves

Cos I hate to relate to a shade that's darker than you

One that prays under a different roof

Has less dollars or pounds, crowns or gowns or grounds 

Fill 'em up with rounds

If they mess with the way that things are constructed

Obstructing lines of production

You can buy anything, liposuction, seduction, just buy it from us, men

Buy lies, can't buy truth

No-one's selling it there is no use

There is no customer base for the product

We'd rather buy some celebrity trollop

Cos our life is about getting one-up

On everybody else that we pass on the come up

We don't care what force bring the sun up

But lie in the sun every day gettin' bun up

Lie to the point that it's part of the culture

Tell the truth it's only the result of 

A double lie

Cancelling itself, their pride cancer in itself

Cos virus is normality, living in a world that is built on vanity

More salaries, more calories, more thieving, more charities

Picture a Moor on a horse with a chariot speaking some kind of African Arabic

Teaching mathematics to a Spaniard when maths had not got to Britannia

Can you picture mind scripture 

That’s designed for the mind to enrich ya?

Are you blind can't you find the riddim pratt?

Cause your timing alignment is on crack

It's hard to be as far off the rhythm as you are 

It's like art

Hard to have so little charisma,

I swear that you try to be shit?

To make me look even better than

Everybody knows that I am already

I'm a pedigree that can't be touched like leprosy

Have a rapper like The Beatles begging me to let it be

And I don't need no referee

I play the game on my own, it's my own sport

And you can't take a king to his own court

You can't take a king to his own court

You ain't the throne sort

You're the type to rap for five minutes

And complain your throat's sore

While I'm so sure that my stone jaw

Is the coldest on road since '04

But these silly little boys think they’re so raw

Make a bigger bit a noise but we know you're

You ain't up the game, you ain't match fit

You ain't even got the brain for the tactics

You ain't even on the bench you're a ballboy

One lickle send out yout so just sit down

I am the Big Mic man with the crown

Super cat de pon sting with the sound

Who are these silly little wolleys?

Think they erupt with enough of the guts to be on it

They’re the version of me that I didn't wanna be

I'm the coldest  on road since Admiral Zheng He

I'm the fire in the booth, you a wet rag

You ain't the real ting like a step-dad

I'm the best so rest where the rest have

Don't big up your chest, let your breasts sag

I'm the best dad look, I don't even beat my sons

I let them shine

Even when they got no talent to rhyme

Insist on doing it all of the time

All of my spine is re-enforced with a kind 

Of carbon that hardens the thoughts in my mind

Of course you will find that I torture a line

I'm born with bars, no-one ever taught me to rhyme

The portion that's mine, don't touch it

Furthermore, don't even discuss it

I know that you heard

Britain's biggest export is weapons of death

That ain't a theory or a guess

Take another breath and your country is next

Unless you remind 'em whenever you're rhyming

You're a beast on the mic with impeccable timing

They will think they’re in the league that I'm in

But that is most absurd

I Turn a Stanza to a cancer with banter

For those between the gangster and a panther

I know you seen me these man dem with their tantrums

Like kids when I'm off on a tandem

Cos they don't know what a tandem means

So rather than use a dictionary they talk shit and badmouth me

When I'm only tryina elevate your mind, G

But I don't watch that the love is more than a grands worth

You should see when I roll through Handsworth

Elders see me, cross the road, talk to me and it usually goes

We love how you bus up da ting, spread knowledge

Bunfire pon them Babylon college

We salute ya, you a da future

All the bigger man have time for them yout deh

What I'm saying it that the respect's worth 

More than the chain on your neck

When it's not that it's somebody's mum

Saying that she feed me to her son

Cos she wanna come get his mind out of the slums

Akala is smarter than Arthur you dumb?

Regardless the bars are retardedly dumb

What the rass and the raated a  part of my lung

Take out a whole clique that chat's do do

Pic up a mic, we can see who's who

I'm fire in the booth, you're dry wood

Chew your flesh it best taste quite good

So smart but he still move quite hood

See him on the road but don't think that I try should

That's a wise assessment, kind of like land is a wise investment

Especially land that's recently blessed with 

In excess of one million deaths in

And the castle you rest in, that's a next ting

Built on the bones and the flesh of the wretched

Throne that you pose in, only protected

Cos we regret that only deceptive 

Things that we like, and only reject it

When it feels like it's truth were digesting


Get in with a blessed king

Whose crown is the rounds that he fought

Therefore you ain't gotta deal with the fraud

Of all these picanees of whom I'm bored

My worst, stronger than their best

Aura alone stronger than their flesh

All that they known can't compare to his guess

Usually don't ever dare to spit next

It's clear the reason is fear

Even the worst MC has ears

Though they can't hear where the beat is

The time their flow with the kick and the snare

When they hear me they know life ain't fair

God bless some and some get air

Like these conscious heads that cry

That I get big headed and I don't know why

Cos I, I have always been this guy

Ever since mum said aim for the sky

I decided that that was too low

So I'm astral travelling to another zone

You won't ever get on the dog and the bone

Cos I don't ever really wanna answer my phone

Zone that I'm in is high vibration

See the future with mind meditation

Your peeps, poor libation

For all the creeps that get above their station

I place them in the right placement

That is to say I erase them

Ain't no-one above nor adjacent

Still these mugs they want to get feisty

But face it they don't really wanna face me

I don't run so you can't ever chase me

And I been through tings on the pavement

But don't beg road fame cos I never made it

My uncles, cousins and friends 

Have done everything that yours have, mate

But I don't tell their story I tell mine

That means I'm real and you're fake

With that said, I don't mind a bit of fiction

If you did tell your story well

But your raps are dryer than a dead man's top lip

After six years of living in hell

You meet a nice girl, you just might gel

Might be wifey, you can't quite tell

You know why? Cos the only bitch in the world

Is a man and this ego we have as a shell

Mine is harder than my uncles foot back

Who don't even need to wear shoes

Who only eats pounded yam and stew

With hands like a can on a man, I refuse

Who said mum never raised no fools?

Your mum raised you

You're a plonker, a plank, a donut, a tool

You make me think that mother nature's cruel

Then I get back and remember

Life is a gift even when it don't look like it is

And everybody thinks that they're cold in a booth

Got no friends to show them the truth

Put the pen down, become a spectator

Go get a day job, there is no shame in it

We need doctors and architects

Not more crap rappers that are passed their best

And if the cap fits you wear it

If it fits your friend too share it

I know it ain't the role of a parent

To take my child's confidence and tear it

But it is my role as a father

To show my son about life and it's harder

When you got a dad named Akala

Those are big shoes to fill, be your own man

Have you own plan, your own destiny

Just don't ever mess with me

Preferably bun these fools for their treachery

Definitely those that put us in jeopardy

Especially foes that wanna pose next to me

Nobody ain't testing me

It's the versatility that is killing them

So road but I teach kids William

Listen to my albums I actually write songs

And of course the bars are brilliant

We can do politics, spirituality

Or real life road reality

Or do this ting here with straight up vanity

Either way, nobody can't battle me

Much less shackle me, the maroon

One man army, an entire platoon

They're like "won't he run out of breath soon?"

"How does he do that? Is he human?"

Look man, it's the spirit of Boukman

Back in the flesh in a terrible crook man

The law won't like me, ain't it obvious

I ain't a paedophile, nor a colonist

I'm the MC that you don't wanna bother with

To gauntlet is thrown down, who's crossing it

Hmm, that's what I thought

You can have your whole life to retort

Still won't think up the things that I thought

When I was age four

Scratch that before I was born

In the womb when I was yet to be formed

Before that in a past incarnation

When I set fire to a thieves plantation

Me and Sam Sharpe hid in the cane fields

Two weeks straight totally stayed still

With nothing but a blade of great steel

Jumped on our enemies what a great kill

Self defence is not violence it's common sense

The first rule of nature, self preservation

To let people kill and abuse you is just self hatred

Turn the other cheek, why?

No-one ever got their freedom that way, lies

When the oppressed say an eye for an eye

They talk this crap about the world goes blind

Just don't attack us in the first place

And everything will be just fine

In the mean time train hard

Read nuff, stay sharp

And don't diss the sisters, are you barmy?

You are putting down half your army

Any evolution without the women in the middle is no revolution at all

Trust me you could read back through them all

Women were there ready to pop tools

But we have become so cowardly that

Rather than fight back we attack

The only ones that ever had our back

And that is a actual fact

And I ain't saying that I ain't ever done that

I'm just saying that it's time that we bun that

So don't put my name in the same sentence

As real revolutionaries, I'm offended

Real revolutionaries spend their life engaged in revolutionary acts

And as cold as I am on the mic

Thus far, I just rap

That said there is no comparison

To cold for the  way that I carry on

These vultures feed off carrion

Come along now, carry on, carry on

Roll up roll up, two for a pound

Bun down MC's bun whole sound

Bun your whole clique I bun the whole town

Take a stroll at the speed of sound

Who said the speed of light was the fastest thing

Never knew the speed of darkness

A black hole absorbs all light that there is

So how could light ever get past it?

I studied the masters and sages

Secret teachings of all of the ages

I don't know, I can't explain it

The knowledge ain't mine yet I radiate it

It's why they write sixteen lines

And I write an essay that rhymes

And I never went uni neither

But my mind works just fine

In fact no need to be modest

My mind's a fine instrument If I'm honest

And I promise that I'll show you where the bodies at

Burying MC's my lickle hobby that

And MC's don't bite me

They ain't got the technique to even copy that

I think I made my point

In a manner that is more than adequate

Let's put all the boasting aside

I do know that I'm just channelling

This thing, what is it?

Inspiration, the source of the spirit?

Not a man in the sky

But a force that animates all things that are living

Dali's brush, Akala's lyrics all things

Ain't explained by the laws of physics

Cos you've been down on your life

Don't mean you'll ever be on top of it

Cos for this force right here

There ain't one that is equal and opposite

100 Greatest Reggae Songs Ever - According to me


Desmond Dekker - Shanty Town
Max Romeo – War Inna Babylon
Capleton – Tour
Bounty Killer – Fed Up
Bounty Killer – Down In a the ghetto
Dennis Brown – Stick By Me
Garnett Silk – Lord Watch Over Our Shoulders
Garnett Silk – Fill Us Up With Your Mercy
Beres Hammond - Rockaway
The Wailers – Pass It On
John Holt – My Number One
Barrington Levy – Here I come
The Maytals – Monkey Man
Garnett Silk – Mama Africa
Jimmy Cliff – Many Rivers To Cross
Burning Spear – Marcus Garvey
The Gladiators – Marcus Garvey Time
Dennis Brown – Just My Imagination
Bob Marley – Forever Loving Jah
Morgan Heritage - Down By The River
Garnett Silk – Cry Of My People
Peter Tosh – African
Alton Ellis – True Born African
Jacob Miller – Tenement Yard
Junior Murvin – Police and Thieves
Dennis Brown – Stop The Fussing And The Fighting
Danny Livingstone – Rudy, A Message To You
The Ethiopians – Train To Skaville
Desmond Dekker & The Aces – Isrealistes
Harry J Allstars – Liquidator
Bob & Marcia – Young Gifted and Black
The Melodians – Rivers Of Babylon
The Maytals - 54-46 That’s My Number
Desmond Dekker – You Can Get It Of You Really Want
The Pioneers – Let Yeah Be Yeah
John Holt – Help Me Make It Through The Night
Ken Boothe - Everything I own
Althea & Donna – Uptown Top Ranking
Peter Tosh – Brand New Second Hand
Dennis Brown – Money In My Pocket
Janet Kay – Silly Games
Gregory Isaacs – Soon Forward
Black Uhuru – Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner
The Mighty Diamonds – Right Time
Supercat – Ghetto Red Hot
Freddie Mcgregor – Just Don’t wanna be lonely
Gregory Isaacs – Rumours
Tenor Saw – Ring The Alarm
Frankie Paul – Pass The Tu Shen Peng
Byron Lee & Dragonaires -  Cherry Oh Baby
Eek A Mouse – Wa Do Dem
Ken Boothe – Crying Over You
Gregory Isaacs – Night Nurse
Michigan & Smiley – Diseases
Buju BaNton – Untold Stories
Capleton – Jah Jah City
Bow Marley & The Wailers – War
Sugar Minott – River Jordan
U-Roy – Wake The Town
Niney The Observer – Blood & Fire
Augustos Pablo – Cassava Piece
Dennis Brown – Slavedriver
Sugar Minott – Herbman Hustling
Bob Marley and The Wailers – Redemption Song
Bob Marley and The Wailers – One Drop
Yellowman – Mad Over Me
Johnny Osbourne – Water Pumping
Half Pint – Greetings
Admiral Bailey – Punanny
Red Dragon – Hol A Fresh
Pinchers – Bandolero
Neville Marcano – Yuh Dead Now
Buju Banton – Boogle Dance
The Wailers – Simmer Down
Don Drummond – Man in The Street
Delroy Wilson – Dancing Mood
Derrick Morgan – Tougher Than Tough
I-Roy – Welding
Roman Stewart – Natty Sing Hit Songs
Leroy Smart – Ballistic Affair
Culture – Two Sevens Clash
Gregory Isaacs – Number One
The Wailing Souls – Breda Gravalicious
Dennis Brown – Sitting And Watching
Dave & Ansell Collins – Double Barrel
Delroy Wilson – Better Must come
Junior Byles – Curly locks
Peter Tosh – Skanky Dog
Peter Tosh – Arise Black man
John Holt  - Time Is The Master
Sizzla – Thank You Mama
Taruus Riley – Shaka Zulu Pickney
Bounty Killer – Look
Ziggy Marley – Tomorrow People
Aswad – Dub Fire
Aswad Warrior Charge
Buju Banton – Murderer
Steel Pulse – Your House


A note to anyone who buys KNOWLEDGE IS POWER VOL1

First of all thanks for the support, I hope your well?

Pls read the following and tell any of your friends that buy the mixtape so
they understand.

The only place you will be able to get legitimate physical copies of
Knowledge Is Power Vol 1 is from when you buy your
copy you will receive a link to download a free bonus disk. However you can
also buy the tape on iTunes etc.

PLS NOTE: The download version that is on itunes etc has 4 less tracks that
the physical cd but if you email your receipt when you buy the download to you will receive the 4 extra tracks and the bonus disc
download as well.
I hope that is clear??

Great poetry from the Wu

When you read the lyrics written down like this I find you really realise
the levels!

From 'A Better Tomorrow'

Instectah Deck:
Yo, in the housing, thousands seen early graves
Victims of wordly ways, memories stays engraved
All my live brothers, is locked down with high numbers
The young hunger, blind to these lies, they die younger
In this New World the Order slaughter men, women, and children
Ten feet gates surround the building keep us sealed in
The projects, lifeless like a Vietnam vet
Constant war, sever threats of enemy conquest
Crooked cops comb my building complex that's in the rumble
Streets are like a jungle, can't let my cypher crumble
Vivid thoughts, Devils resort to trick knowledge
They kick garbage, lust for chicks and quick dollars
I know the pain the game bring, I did the same thing
Spaced out in the staircase, performing a sting
It's hard to keep control, I bless those who seek a scroll
Trying to reach a whole nation and break the sleeper hold
Not a role model, I walk a hard road to follow
I sold bottles of sorrow then chose poems and novels
The gospel was told, some souls it swallowed whole
Mentally they fold, and they eventually sold
their life and times, deadly like the virus design
but too, minute to dilute, the scientist mind

Masta Killa:
A voice cries from the wilderness of the North
A representation of the families that lost one
all victims of incarceration
Or other divisions of the family structure
Youths are injected with serums that leads
to skin irritations, babies being born with
disfigurations, experimentations
On their faces there bear world relations
of mothers that carry the pain
of blood stained streets where sisters mourn and wail
Fifth brothers been slain from hails of gun fire
It lightly begins to rain screams of terror
are hidden by the passing trains
This can't be little Hussein, his uncle cried
As he drops to his nephew's side, holding his cane
Just give me a name, of who has inflicted this
bitter sickness, and left us to witness

Curses from war, innocent blood spills for days
Soothe in godly ways, hands, solemn in praise
Tree of life, more precious than Wu is golden game
The wise self flourish inherit, Halls of Fame
Crime visions in my blood got me, locked in prison
While we die hard living people whine about religion, vision
Blow, spin, and sin and killing what's revealing
It's a never ending battle with no ending or beginning, listen
Zero process, progress, become the hunted
America's most wanted, good life flaunted, want it
Some love the speed, some satisfy a need
Some want to be down, young gun seed, jungle breed
The strong must feed, someone die, someone bleed
One flew astray, and then caught my little seed
Can it be, the ice have us trife life, made me grab the knife
The righteous man would be within these stripes pipes
Take in my energy, breath and know the rest
Cause the good die young and the hard die best