Doublethink Diary Entry 6

The First Treatment with the Elders


Surrounded by a circle of love I sat in the middle facing the elegant,
honest face of Kandace, a face colored by a wisdom and powered by an engine
that was not here with the rest of us, yet still somehow faded in that
luminosity by time or pain or fear I could not tell which. The members of
this circle chanted slow rhythmic guttural utterances that seemed to
originate not in their voice boxes or diaphragms but to erupt from the same
source that illuminated Kandace¹s face. I remember feeling very conflicted,
on one hand I found this Œlove¹ (an idea that I had grown to view abhorrent)
quite alienating and unsettling but on the other hand I could not deny that
there was a warmth and a beauty that filled my body and made me feel whole
in a way I have never before experienced. I remember being massaged, I
remember having needles stuck in me and removed, I remember the hot stones
on my back feeling like they were sucking some reluctant snake of substance
from my body, I remember the crystal, I remember drinking a warm liquid, not
necessarily warm in its temperature but I remember it filled my body with
warmth and then I blacked out.


The elders tell me that this process will continue and each time it is done
I will regain more of my memory of the past, who I am, where I have come
from and what my purpose is until eventually myself will become strong
enough to remain fully conscious after the drink and much will be revealed
to me. They say at that point I will be ready to be given my names back and
begin reading the book that I brought with me.